Guess what I started with didn’t meet with their (Powers That Be – hereinafter PTB) approval as it just disappeared – right in the middle of writing this post what I was writing just disappeared. Is it still here hidden somewhere? Don’t know. But my fingers seem to be forgetting how to type and keep hitting wrong keys. Strange things.
So Good NOW! Let’s start over and see if we can do something that will survive. I was in the process of explaining why this has been so little used over the past few years since I started it and why I’m making another attempt at reviving it when it disappeared. Perhaps the reason is not important and I should just list the facts. I have through the gifts of a spirited seer been guided to start asking for something useful for the day every morning, noting whatever comes and then noting what materializes during the day. So in the hopes of this proving to be a worthwhile endeavor and something that I can actually stick to I’m starting back up again. We’ll have what came, then what materialized during the day. Goal I guess is to prove to myself that my ‘knowing’ is actually real and influences or shows things that are not particularly in my control.
Friday 4/24/15 -?- “It’s good” nothing really special happened this day. I had a feeling of all’s well with the world which persisted all day but no earth shattering event to tie with this feeling. Perhaps it’s just a send off for this new journey.
Saturday 4/25 -:)-”You have junk mail” – we live in the boonies and our ‘mailing address’ is not where we live. So other than our Netflix which come to this address the mailbox is generally empty. But I check it every morning while out for my morning walk and sure enough there was mail and it was junk.
Sunday 4/26 -:)- “It’s going to rain this morning”. Well the weatherman agreed, it was supposed to rain in the afternoon according to the weatherman and I had plans for the morning to go out and work on the RV early before the rain started. So I noted the message and headed out for my walk at 5AM as usual. Forecast – rain at 10am maybe, higher chance for 3pm. I did a 1 mile walk instead of my usual 3 miles as it started raining 1/2 mile down the road.
Monday 4/27 -:)- “Be careful on the road.” I live in the boonies – 1/2 mile down a dirt road. So I walk up to the highway (2 lane country road) and then walk on the road. I generally walk on whatever side there are no cars on so I move back and forth as the traffic dictates. Maybe once or twice a week I’ll have cars coming both directions at the same time and have to move off the road while they pass. This morning I have 4 cars do that. Very unusual.
Tuesday 4/28 -:)- “You got mail” again and sure enough there was main in the box. Also, I’ve started putting a pen & pad on my nightstand, I was told in my angel reading that this would let guardians & guides know I was ready to receive, and so I’ve started dreaming. This is really a new and novel experience for me for if I have dreamed previously I never remembered anything of them when I awoke. This was a strange dream, on something like a space station, a huge, city sized thing, and I was on a section were people land and take off and fuel, etc. I’m similar to an airport here, but these weren’t planes or rockets, they were list small cars that flew. Memory is sketchy, but the section I was on separated from the main station and was falling back into the atmosphere when I woke up. My thought was ‘strange, hmm, no idea what that was about and I mentioned to my guides that if there was a message in there I didn’t get the symbolism.
Wednesday 4/29 -:) “Good Deal Lucille! It’s good. All is as it should be.” Wednesday was the day for all of Sheila’s testing for her yearly review and so this message was plain for me. The testing would go well and the outcome would be positive. Everything went exceptionally well that day and on Thursday when we got the results they were all strongly positive. (Sheila is a double lung transplant recipient. This was her first yearly review, so a big milestone. The first anniversary is considered, among the transplant group as a big event.)
Thursday 4/30 -:)- “BP (Blood Pressure) solution is at hand”, then later out of the blue I felt like Chocolate cake and when I said to Sheila that we should go to the cafe at the Mayo and get chocolate cake, she didn’t think they had it. We’d never seen it there, but I just knew they’d have it and when we went they did. On the BP issue, it’s with Sheila’s BP which has started getting high 150 to 180 several times a week and we talked with her coordinator and with the doctor about it and they are setting up an appointment with the cardio doctors for her. So we have a solution in the making.
Friday 5/1 – ? “Happy Days” but nothing more specific about an event. We drive back to Satsuma (we live in a RV and had spent Tue – Fri there dry camping. We had appointments in the morning and they planned on heading back to our home base (we have a space on the St John’s River in Satsuma, Fl) www.jandse.com if you’re interested in that phase of life. But the Endocrine Doctor got the re-class done and so they set up another appointment for her at 2:30, so change in plans. But it was good getting the infusion for the re-class. Osteoporosis + the effects of the steroids that she takes to prevent rejection give her weak bones. That is then coupled with the oral meds being hard on her body, so with the re-class she gets an infusion once a year and that strengthens her bones and helps prevent further bone loss. So I guess that’s the ‘Happy Days’ :))
Saturday 5/2 – nothing discernible came to me this morning or during the day. It was a good day, but no messages to start it out.
Sunday 5/3 – :)-”You’ve got mail” seems to be taking the lead on repeats and ono proving true. We got the mail when we got back to Satsuma on Saturday, so I wasn’t particularly expecting anything, but the mail forward from the office was there when I checked. Just have to see if that one continues. Ok, all caught up to current now. We’ll see what the coming week brings. I’m going to start writing the dreams down. I’ve had a few more, but nothing that I could see as a clear message from them so I didn’t write them down. I’ll do that next dream and we’ll see if writing them down helps with figuring out what if anything they mean.
Monday 5/4 – Dream message and then reinforced with a feeling later. So I’m hiking up the mountain, that mountain we’re all climbing and the trail gets narrow I slip and fall over the edge of a cliff. Near the top, but not near enough to reach the top from it, there’s a small tree sticking out the side of the cliff. I grab it so now here I am, hanging on the face of the cliff, hundreds of feet to the ground. I know that if I turn loose my guardians & guides will catch me and carry me back to the path, but I can’t stop looking down and my hand refuses to let go. That’s my metaphor for where I’m at – stuck hanging from the cliff, knowing that I need to let go and unable to turn loose.
Tuesday 5/5 – – it’s the day for Sheila’s review and the review is going to be good, and sure enough the doctor is grinning from ear to ear and very pleased with how she’s doing. Lungs have completely healed and she’s doing great. They adjust her meds, taking her off two of them (the gold pill ($65/ea) and another fairly expensive one. So my get up feeling proved to be true and not just wishful thinking.
Wednesday 5/6 – Live from gratitude, everything is a gift. Then on my morning walk the book I’m listening to Falling Into Grace by Adyashanti reinforces the message by saying basically the same thing. Life is a gift and it’s here to experience. While we tend to enjoy the ‘good’ and shy away from the ‘bad’ in the grand sense there is no good or bad, just experiences to be experienced. The good and bad part is just make-believe, the work of thinking.
Thursday 5/7 – Nothing that I could put my finger on today. I did have a strange dream but remembered very little of it. Something where I was some type of mine boss and not very popular. Not sure what the message was if there was one there and nothing later to define or clarify it.
Friday – 5/8 – Another day of nothing apparent and a quiet pretty normal day with no great events. Just a quiet and peaceful day. That in and of itself is a gift worth note :))
Saturday – 5/9 – It Is What It Is – just a strong feeling reinforcing the idea that things are what they are and that we’re not really in control of what they are. Our minds do a great job of making us think we’re in control of the events of life, but in reality I’m no longer convinced that I have a lot of say about the way things turn out. We make plans, we take actions, but do we actually control the outcome of the actions? An interesting question with no real answer.
Sunday – 5/10 – We’re leaving today – traveling up to the Mayo again for Sheila’s Cataract surgery. One eye this week, the other next week. So we’ll be back in 10 days. Mayo Doctor>Melbourne Meetings>Mayo Doctor then home. This morning I have a very strong feeling that’s somewhat a carry over from yesterday. Let it be and one thing at a time are the messages for the day and I take them in context with it being what it is. Now, who can argue with what is if you are in the Now? For now is what it is, you can’t change it and you can’t deny it. Yesterdays gone and tomorrow isn’t here – now is all you have. Morning walk again reinforces that. Again the message for the day is repeated in my morning walk/book. Still on Falling Into Grace.
Monday – 5/11 – Dream – I’m socializing – strange behavior for me as I’m generally not much into the socializing stuff. I’m on the mountaintop in the midst of the crowd. The appointment if very early (6:30am) so I skip my walk and plan to listen to my book while Sheila’s off in prep/surgery/recovery, but it turns out that they call you back and the waiting room is abuzz with loud conversations, so reading, or more properly comprehending is just not a happening thing. So I listen to part of the next section – “no true thought” is all I carry away from it. But a seed is planted.
Tuesday 5/12 – The seed from yesterday is beginning to sprout and it’s strong in its impact as it begins blossoming. I do listen to the chapter today and it’s really eye-opening. I think a finger just straightened out on that branch. Walking the beach this morning also helps – I do love walking on the beach at sunrise No True Thought – they are all just a story, a made up story without reality.
Wednesday 5/13 – The message for the day is about suffering and comes from both a feeling and the book I’m listening to right now – ‘Suffering is arguing with what is’ or put another way, ‘You can’t argue with life. Life always wins’. And one final way that came up after the first two – there’s a saying “Shit happens” which seems to fit. Life also just happens and much as we’d like to think we’re in control of it that’s really an illusion perpetrated by our mind. Mind has this neat way of seeing what is, then modifying what was so that it appears to be the cause of what it. So I need to insert a story from the book I’m listening to about a college experiment that touches on this memory issue.
So you get a group of bright young people and you put them in a room. You tell them that their only job is to listen to this short story and remember it. They will be tested on their memory of it 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 day and 5 months after they hear it. So the story is told and 5 minutes later the students repeat it more or less like it was told. 5 hours later it’s starting to change – 5 days later it is changed and 5 months later it’s hard to find the resemblance to the original story. The point of the experiment, to prove that you memory, which is all you have to go by in determining the past is, in all probability, not a true representation of what actually occurred. Your mind modifies it as it goes along to suit its current needs.
Thursday 5/14 – “Lilly of the field” a verse from the bible which to me represents the idea that if you trust life to provide it will. It has been my experience that the more you struggle for more the less life gives you and the more you appreciate all you have the more it gives you. While I’m not exactly rich in the millionaire/billionaire sense I am very comfortable and have everything that I need and then some. I think the secret to having is not hording, but rather sharing and living life from gratitude. It’s a style that is based on experience as I’ve been down and out and I’ve been fat and unhappy. The balance seems to come from being content with what you have and remembering that the glass is always half full :))
Friday 5/15 – A friend reminded me today of an AA saying that blended in with my thought for the day so I’ll just quote it. “If you have one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow you are pissing on today.” Not very eloquent, but to the point and very true. The only part of life we have is the present moment and yet we let our minds spend the majority of our life regretting yesterdays mistakes and hoping for tomorrow’s rewards. Meanwhile the real mistake is that while we’re busy contemplating what went wrong yesterday and chasing the carrot mind is dangling over tomorrow we’re missing today.
Saturday 5/16 – I seem to have gotten away from the original intent of this as it seems that the messages that I was looking to get every morning are not coming with any great regularity. I do still get something, a feeling, a knowing or something in the book I’m listening to on my morning walk that strikes a chord but they don’t seem to be a helpful hint that will point to some event that I can say ‘ah hah’ about which was the original intent. But I guess recording what I do get is a record of the journey, so I’ll keep recording. Today’s thought for the day is that the answers is not out there – it’s in here. Stop looking for something/someone else to show the way and let your feet blaze their own path. I have been looking outside for the answer I think and so the message does hit home. As long as the answer is ‘out there’ it will continue to elude – to quote a few of the enlightened who’ve described their final moment, it was that they already were what they were seeking to become – they just didn’t realize it. This, I was told recently, is where I’m at. Unfortunately, knowing your it doesn’t help you to really KNOW the reality of it.
Sunday 5/17 – What is enlightenment anyway? Rather than a ‘solution’ to all your ‘problems’ I think it’s simply understanding that there are no problems. Why do we want to be enlightened anyway? I can’t for the life of me think of one single reason to way to stop being who I am and trade that in for an enlightened version. But not having a ‘rational’ reason to do it doesn’t seem to stop one from that nagging feeling that there’s something there that you need to find. Since being enlightened is going to probably put the mind (ego) out of work, I’m guessing that the mind will be silently sabotaging one every step of the way. But I keep treading on the path up the mountain or rather I will if I even open my hand and turn loose of that tree I’m hanging from
Monday 5/18 – Another day with nothing that I can say is a ‘clear message’ from the boys on the top floor, but I’ll just take something from my book that registered with particular clarity. This rang a bell somewhere inside but I’m sure has mind huddling in the corner planning the counter attack. “There is no such thing as a true thought.” The author built a really good case for this actually and for how our entire world is nothing but what we ‘think’ it is. As I’ve said often, it’s all a matter of perspective, and how you perceive things is all ‘thought’. So when you realize that you don’t generally know where thoughts come from or where they go when you don’t chase them down, and you accept that a thought is not the thing thought just an imaginary image of it, it’s easy to see that thoughts are not ‘real’. A good example – when you’re thirsty do you want water or a piece of paper that says “H2O” on it. One is true, it’s the real thing, the other a symbol for the real thing. A thought is never the ‘real thing’ it’s just a symbol pointing to some reality. Hmm, have to think about that one lol.
Tuesday 5/19 – more from the book for today, but I’ve been sort of doing this naturally I think, though not to the extent that Adyashanti is suggesting. Today’s lesson was about the right way to meditate which is basically a complete reversal of what most of the books recommend and a surprise coming from someone who studied Zen for 15 years. It’s meditate – not manipulate. That is, don’t worry about position, about breathing, about controlling your thoughts, etc. Just be still and go with whatever happens. If things come let them come, let them go, don’t chase them, just let the present moment be what it is and observe. He also talks some about inquiry, but I haven’t figured that out yet, in the sense that I’m not sure what that means exactly. I imagine there will be more on that as I read on or it just comes to me.
Wednesday 5/20 – today it’s a combination, word from above and then reinforced by the book – stop trying to figure it out and just let it be. This is to me more on the theme of “It is what it is” which I think is the realization that leads to being able to dwell in the now. Mind likes ‘figuring it out’ that what it’s purpose is. But spirit is more about going with the flow and not needing to ‘figure it out’ but just flow with it. The “Lilly’s of the field” idea that we talked about earlier. Life will, in the end, take care of things for you. It really doesn’t need mind to figure it out and the whole idea of mind actually being in charge is kind of silly. If you think you’re in control, go out at sunrise and stop the sun for a few minutes. Seems that the universe is doing quite well on its own. In fact it’s mind that is destroying the planet as it plays at control and fails to see that it’s idea of ‘control’ is actually resulting in interference rather than control. Oh well, to quote a song from the 50′s (dating myself I think), Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be.
Thursday 5/21 – nothing for today really or if there was I didn’t put any notes in my pad. I’m carrying the pad all the time but occasionally I will have something come to me and say I’ll write it down on a minute and then the minute never comes. I don’t do the blog every day, I do it generally once or twice a week and create the days from my notes. So no notes, nothing to write about -
Friday 5/22 – my message for the day was ‘Recovery’ and was about the stuff that Sheila is going through right now with all over the map blood pressure. She’s been having very high BP first thing in the morning and not walking every day as she was told to take it easy for several days after the eye surgery. When she does walk, which she’s back to doing now, its very low when we do it after her walk. So not unusual to see 170′s to 180′s first thing and then 90′s to 115 after her walk. So that’s been on my mind, which loves to play these what if games at times. Not like it used to before meditations calmed it, but it still has it’s moments. Where do these weird thoughts and scenario’s of disaster come from? At any rate, my message for the day was recovery. She started walking again, BP came down a little and next week we go see the Cardio guy about getting it stabilized. So it was a positive message that seems to have been a forecast for better outcomes which we have been seeing
Saturday 5/23 – ‘Let It Be’ rang out loud and clear this morning. A message that came as a feeling – still not getting anyone to tap me on the shoulder and talk to me – but the feelings can be quite strong sometimes. Quite often they come during morning meditation and then are reinforced with something from the book of the moment. I do audio books and there was a great line at the end of the book during an interview with Adyashanti when he said “We are in the hand of God looking for God!” It made me laugh and rung so true. This is heaven, we just spend most of our time mentally in yesterday and tomorrow and miss the heaven that is NOW. Wake up and smell the roses!
Sunday 5/24 – Another replay – meditate not manipulate came up again. What’s it mean? I got a very clear definition from my book, anything that you do to try to ‘control’ the meditation is manipulating it. Stop following your breath, proving you can concentrate by silencing the budding thoughts, etc. Anything that you do to control the situation is manipulation. As noted – this is what most organized systems do. They take a simple practice and quantify it, qualify it and the practice becomes about doing the process right rather than living the experience. This was what Adyashanti learned from 15 years of Zen. This is why you can have people who’ve practiced for 20-30 years still seeking. They’ve developed perfect form, but are still seeking the answer.
Monday 5/25 – Enlightenment is not something you find, it’s what you are already. This is really the ultimate truth. We are that which we seek, we are literally “in the hand of God seeking God.” We can’t see the forest for the trees and our mind, who’s out of a job once we realize that is busy keeping us from realizing it. The mind likes the ‘manipulate’ idea, it’s a good manipulator and it wants to keep its job. Since, as long as you consider yourself to be your thoughts and your mind controls the thoughts and perceptions that get through to your consciousness there is no way out of the cycle that the mind weaves. So until you figure out how to silence the mind you’ll never get a glimpse of what lies beyond it. So here’s where meditation helps and with the new binaural beats audios that are available online it’s easy to learn to meditate.
Tues 5/26 – nothing today
Wed 5/27 – same – just busy with the world days and nothing coming in that I recognize
Thursday 5/28 It’s OK – It’s no big deal. We get it, we don’t get it which is not really important. We will get it, we’ll all get it in the end so where you are now is where you are now. Accept it, be it and be now. Therein lies the key, BE NOW. Turn off the mind games of yesterdays regrets and tomorrow’s hopes and just be now. Be all you can be – BE WHAT IS – BE NOW.
Friday 5/29 A message for the day for a change. Sheila goes for labs once a month and they’ve been playing with one of her anti-rejection drugs. Adjusting the dose and so she’s been bouncing up and down, and today’s message was that where she was now was OK. So later in the day we got the results – at the bottom of the range they want. Hmm? So we’re wondering – next day the coordinator calls and they want her to stay where she is (same dose) for now. So “Cyclo is ok”, the message for the day was correct. Been awhile since I’ve had one of those messages :))
Saturday 5/30 another day without anything specific.
Sunday 5/31 a hard one to figure out or maybe an obvious one that ‘mind’ is making hard. “What it is” popped into my head early this morning and just sort of ran around there for a while. Then in the book I’ve been listening to and just finished up along came a question to pose in meditation – “What am I?” It’s a question that mind cannot answer, so posing it and meditating on it kind of shuts the jabber talkie off for a few pleasant moments.
I thing I’ll end part one here and start What’s Up Doc – June as a new post. Till next time have a wonder filled day.